My Failure, Maybe

There's a little sad feeling in my heart. Maybe I feel jealous of my friend's happiness. Today I have to come to my friend's graduation ceremony. Do you know what I feel? No, I didn't mention the word 'hate', I just feel bad for myself. I see myself like a teen girl in 23 years old body. So hard to move on and be more like adult. My mom even said that I grown adult late. Many of my friends have been married, but I don't even think about it. I live with my own egoism and don't care of the other. I do what I wanna do, playing around and having fun. 

Maybe people can see how care I am, and yes, I do care of everyone. But there's one failure that I made, I can't live outside my relax and comfortable world. Well I actually aware of that, but I don't know how to escape from this situation. People keep saying that If I want to change myself that start from  myself. They all said  the same thing, and I even don't understand how to do that. Such a useless. 

I'm so sorry you guys have to read my worthless writing. I just feel today I can't think positively. I just a girl that must live normally even I know I can't live like others. 

Thanks for your kindness who is giving your precious time reading my blog. thanks so much.